--- product_id: 1835409 title: "The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" price: "AED 116" currency: AED in_stock: true reviews_count: 13 url: https://www.desertcart.ae/products/1835409-the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love store_origin: AE region: United Arab Emirates --- # 4.7/5 from 3,363 reviews NYT Bestseller #7,312 Top 5 in Feminist & Men's Gender Studies The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love **Price:** AED 116 **Availability:** ✅ In Stock ## Summary > 📖 Unlock the power of empathy and redefine masculinity with Bell Hooks' timeless classic! ## Quick Answers - **What is this?** The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love - **How much does it cost?** AED 116 with free shipping - **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship - **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.ae](https://www.desertcart.ae/products/1835409-the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love) ## Best For - Customers looking for quality international products ## Why This Product - Free international shipping included - Worldwide delivery with tracking - 15-day hassle-free returns ## Key Features - • **Universal Relevance:** Essential for anyone seeking to understand and dismantle toxic masculinity and patriarchy. - • **Accessible & Engaging Read:** Clear, compelling prose makes complex social issues approachable for all readers. - • **Top-Ranked Thought Leadership:** Ranks top 5 in Feminist Theory and Men's Gender Studies, a must-have for progressive minds. - • **Transformative Feminist Insight:** Bell Hooks' groundbreaking exploration of masculinity and love reshapes cultural narratives. - • **Emotional Intelligence Blueprint:** Guides men to embrace vulnerability and heal from patriarchal trauma. ## Overview The Will to Change by bell hooks is a critically acclaimed, New York Times bestselling book that challenges toxic masculinity and patriarchy. It offers a compassionate, feminist perspective on men's emotional healing and vulnerability, ranking top 5 in Feminist Theory and Men's Gender Studies categories. With over 3,300 reviews averaging 4.7 stars, this accessible and transformative work is essential for anyone committed to social progress and emotional intelligence. ## Description From New York Times bestselling author, feminist pioneer, and cultural icon bell hooks, an evergreen treatise on how patriarchy and toxic masculinity hurts us all. Feminist writing did not tell us about the deep inner misery of men. Everyone needs to love and be loved—including men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways in which patriarchal culture keeps them from understanding themselves. In The Will to Change , bell hooks provides a compassionate guide for men of all ages and identities to understand how to be in touch with their feelings, and how to express versus repress the emotions that are a fundamental part of who we are. With trademark candor and fierce intelligence, hooks addresses the most common concerns of men, such as fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society, in new and challenging ways. The Will to Change “creates space for men to acknowledge their traumas and heal—not only for their sake, but for the sake of everyone in their lives” ( BuzzFeed ). Review: A Radical Path to Healing: Why Every Soul Needs This Book - Bell Hooks' The Will to Change is nothing short of life-changing. It is an eye-opening, deeply healing manual for anyone who has ever struggled with the complexities of interpersonal relationships. Hooks fearlessly calls out the systematic brainwashing embedded in Western culture—and prevalent in parts of the East—that dictates how we view masculinity, love, and vulnerability. Reading this was a pivotal moment in my own journey. It provided the clarity needed to understand my childhood traumas, not just as their personal failures, but as symptoms of a larger cultural sickness. More importantly, it offered a path toward finding compassion for those who inflicted that pain, breaking the cycle of resentment. What makes this book unique is its dual power: it is undeniably feminist, yet profoundly pro-men. hooks illuminates the root causes of dysfunction and hurt between the sexes, showing us that the enemy is not men or women, but the patriarchal conditioning that stifles our emotional capacity. She empowers us to take charge of our own minds, urging us to identify faulty thinking patterns and trace their origins. The first step to liberation is awareness, and hooks provides the map. I believe every person on Earth should read this book and actively implement her proposed solutions. If we collectively embraced this work, we could literally heal the world, ushering in a level of peace and unity that feels like a utopia. This is not just a book; it is a blueprint for a better humanity. Review: The most relevant book on gender & patriarchy, while the focus is on men, it touches us all. - This is the most relevant and important book on men and masculinity I have read this decade, it includes the important recognition and explanation of men’s experiences as survivors (victims) of the patriarchy. As explained in this book men are not the benefactors of the patriarchy, but a specific target for exploitation at the hands of economic elites using social mores and violence to control them. This is also a critical read not just for men, but for women and anyone who is interested in understanding the origins and realities of the feminist movement and especially how it has failed men, and in doing so has failed women, families and society as a whole. This book doesn’t just talk about the problems of patriarchy in reference to our communities. It talks about specific perspectives, paradigm shifts, and actions we can all take to rectify these issues. Furthermore, this book is very accessible, very easy to read and quite engaging. Brilliant - I’m so sad that we have lost Bell Hooks in recent years - she was one of the most important political and social leaders of our time. And this book clearly demonstrates that. In regards to how it made me feel? The his was the first time I read a book by a non masculine person that validated and empathized with the challenges that men face. It helped me understand many of the issues I have in my life. And it also challenges the misandry of this age. Honestly I believe that people from across the political spectrum, especially men, will find this book validating and and surprisingly support to the many men who are fighting for awareness of men’s issues, as well as men who are suffering alone in silence. This is a must read. ## Features - Used Book in Good Condition ## Technical Specifications | Specification | Value | |---------------|-------| | Best Sellers Rank | #4,630 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #2 in Men's Gender Studies #6 in Feminist Theory (Books) #7 in Cultural Anthropology (Books) | | Customer Reviews | 4.7 out of 5 stars 3,372 Reviews | ## Images ![The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/61GRmiQSeYL.jpg) ## Available Options This product comes in different **Media Language, Media Format** options. ## Customer Reviews ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Radical Path to Healing: Why Every Soul Needs This Book *by N***E on March 27, 2026* Bell Hooks' The Will to Change is nothing short of life-changing. It is an eye-opening, deeply healing manual for anyone who has ever struggled with the complexities of interpersonal relationships. Hooks fearlessly calls out the systematic brainwashing embedded in Western culture—and prevalent in parts of the East—that dictates how we view masculinity, love, and vulnerability. Reading this was a pivotal moment in my own journey. It provided the clarity needed to understand my childhood traumas, not just as their personal failures, but as symptoms of a larger cultural sickness. More importantly, it offered a path toward finding compassion for those who inflicted that pain, breaking the cycle of resentment. What makes this book unique is its dual power: it is undeniably feminist, yet profoundly pro-men. hooks illuminates the root causes of dysfunction and hurt between the sexes, showing us that the enemy is not men or women, but the patriarchal conditioning that stifles our emotional capacity. She empowers us to take charge of our own minds, urging us to identify faulty thinking patterns and trace their origins. The first step to liberation is awareness, and hooks provides the map. I believe every person on Earth should read this book and actively implement her proposed solutions. If we collectively embraced this work, we could literally heal the world, ushering in a level of peace and unity that feels like a utopia. This is not just a book; it is a blueprint for a better humanity. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The most relevant book on gender & patriarchy, while the focus is on men, it touches us all. *by Z***D on July 12, 2025* This is the most relevant and important book on men and masculinity I have read this decade, it includes the important recognition and explanation of men’s experiences as survivors (victims) of the patriarchy. As explained in this book men are not the benefactors of the patriarchy, but a specific target for exploitation at the hands of economic elites using social mores and violence to control them. This is also a critical read not just for men, but for women and anyone who is interested in understanding the origins and realities of the feminist movement and especially how it has failed men, and in doing so has failed women, families and society as a whole. This book doesn’t just talk about the problems of patriarchy in reference to our communities. It talks about specific perspectives, paradigm shifts, and actions we can all take to rectify these issues. Furthermore, this book is very accessible, very easy to read and quite engaging. Brilliant - I’m so sad that we have lost Bell Hooks in recent years - she was one of the most important political and social leaders of our time. And this book clearly demonstrates that. In regards to how it made me feel? The his was the first time I read a book by a non masculine person that validated and empathized with the challenges that men face. It helped me understand many of the issues I have in my life. And it also challenges the misandry of this age. Honestly I believe that people from across the political spectrum, especially men, will find this book validating and and surprisingly support to the many men who are fighting for awareness of men’s issues, as well as men who are suffering alone in silence. This is a must read. ### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A great primer for any man looking to change. *by C***N on May 27, 2017* Short review—a great primer for any man looking to change. Just a touch of back story. As a kid I saw the Old Boys Club antagonize my mom in all kinds of nasty ways, so I decided my way of being a man would be to “do no harm” essentially embrace a sort of neutral passivity… which kinda worked, but I’ve found passivity allows the patriarchy to still hold sway, and I am often still complicit. So, I’ve been exploring what a healthy assertive masculinity would look like. A friend of mine recommended bell hook’s book “The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love” saying it is the only book out there addressing Alternative Masculinity. “The Will To Change” is a broad description of what the Patriarchy does to men—Dr. hooks describes a totalized system, I have to admit I’ve not experienced all the manifestations of patriarchy described, but I’d imagine that just means I’m either lucky or have some blinders. What follows are a few points made throughout the book: -Patriarchy does not allow for relationship Dr. hooks begins with the statement that women fear men, for we are a constant threat of violence to them. She uses an intense example by Barbara Deming, who describes the first time she felt true intimacy with her father, which was when she held his corpse. It was the first time there was no threat of violence in him. Put simply, Patriarchy involves domination, and love and domination can’t coexist. So, all intimacy within patriarchal culture is pretend intimacy. -The Patriarchy involves Domination Men living under the Patriarchy are constantly asking where they are on the social pecking order. There can be no sign of weakness. Instead of finding self-esteem in a man’s individual identity it is always found in relation to other men. Any sign of weakness is shamed. The question is always “who is on top?” “who is dominating who?”. One of the silly thing men often do is answer questions even if they don’t know the right answer, or were not asked the question—this is because not having the answer causes shame and shows weakness. So, mansplaining, for example, is an attempt to not be shamed. -“Psychic self-mutilation” Boys become men when they learn to stop expressing their emotions. This is a horrendous loss, and within the Patriarchy manhood is reaffirmed by learning to only grieve this loss in private. Dr. hooks suggests the anti-social stage of development in boys may in fact be the point at which they learn to stop expressing their emotions. There are multiple masks men learn to use to hide this grief and other emotions. In general the mask is compartmentalization. This causes men to distrust everyone, after all if they are masking their pain, everyone is lying. Often times boys living in anti-patriachal homes lead a double life at home and at school. Additionally, Workaholism is a mask that is rewarded and encouraged by pretty much everyone. Work is a place to escape the self. It encourages a sense of separate spheres, men work and make money, women work at home and do the emotional work for men. Another major mask is sex. The Patriarchy has told men that sex is the only space for intimacy and release of emotions. This causes men to have a constant sense of sexual scarcity, after all they are told sex does the work of all passions, sensualities, and relationships. “All human needs are promised to us by way of sex and sexuality.” It isn’t put in its proper place as “one pleasure among many pleasures.” Dr. hooks warns women ought not ignore the pain the Patriarchy inflicts upon men, as they too can be socialized into psychic self-mutilation. -Change is hard Popular culture props up the Patriarchy, even when it tries to be thoughtful about masculinity. For example, American Beauty, Life as a House, and Monsters Ball all depict men critically reflecting upon their emotional life, and they all end up dead. Who would choose to embrace a practice that he is told will lead to his destruction? Men are often bought off by the Patriarchy. Dr. hooks describes a gentle quiet feminist man who assumed a macho persona and was rewarded for it. Women were drawn to him, he was noticed publically and professionally, and “his feminism ceased.” At times mainstream feminism gives men who want to change mixed messages, “Hold onto ideas about strength and providing for others… while dropping your investment in domination and add an investment in emotional growth.” It’s important to remember that women also enforce patriarchal norms. The following conversation is a norm: “How do you feel?” “Like there is something missing, I’m in pain and I think society hates me.” “Shut-up.” Similarly, men recovering from substance abuse often have the experience of being told by their partner, “Now that you are sober you no longer need to express your feelings.” Finally, as long as the Patriarchy is the water in which we swim, men who want to change will be left resource-less. “Men will never receive support from patriarchal culture for their emotional development.” -But it is worth it “Anytime a single male dares to transgress patriarchal boundaries in order to love, the lives of women, men, and children are fundamentally changed for the better.” ## Frequently Bought Together - The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love - All About Love: New Visions - Communion: The Female Search for Love (Love Song to the Nation, 2) --- ## Why Shop on Desertcart? - 🛒 **Trusted by 1.3+ Million Shoppers** — Serving international shoppers since 2016 - 🌍 **Shop Globally** — Access 737+ million products across 21 categories - 💰 **No Hidden Fees** — All customs, duties, and taxes included in the price - 🔄 **15-Day Free Returns** — Hassle-free returns (30 days for PRO members) - 🔒 **Secure Payments** — Trusted payment options with buyer protection - ⭐ **TrustPilot Rated 4.5/5** — Based on 8,000+ happy customer reviews **Shop now:** [https://www.desertcart.ae/products/1835409-the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love](https://www.desertcart.ae/products/1835409-the-will-to-change-men-masculinity-and-love) --- *Product available on Desertcart United Arab Emirates* *Store origin: AE* *Last updated: 2026-09-04*