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"Every happy family is alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," wrote Leo Tolstoy. Families dealing with a child's sexuality are certainly forced by a phobic culture to experience a whole range of unhappiness. Beyond Acceptance deals with a variety of issues facing heterosexual parents of gay children, from facing what the neighbors will say to worrying about AIDS and social ostracism to feeling angry and guilt-ridden. Various people speak about how they came to their misinformed views about gayness, their religious beliefs, their fears that friends will abandon them after finding out about their child's sexuality, and their anxieties about AIDS. Often people find similar solutions to their problems, and sometimes different ones, but in all cases the message is that understanding, love, and a need to own up to, and dispense with, ignorant phobic attitudes can bring families back together in a wholesome and nurturing manner. Frank, informed, and filled with ins and practical suggestions, Beyond Acceptance is a fine addition to the literature on phobia and families. --Michael Bronski

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