Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie(1905-06-08)

Very insightful and clear. I'm still reading it but already it has helped me to see how I operate and how to make small changes in my thinking and behaviour to improve my own quality of life. I'm delighted this book was recommended to me.

Excellent book, well written, helpful, plenty of Ah ha moments for me. I genuinely feel calmer about my circumstances and less angry about my choices. Less ashamed, less guilt driven. It might very well change my life. But only time will tell!

Overall, I loved her message of "it's okay", and when things are not okay, here's some things you can do about it. I liked her speaking up for the damaged amongst us, not in a pitiful, condescending way, but in a pragmatic, hopeful manner. But the content was very dense. I appreciate self-help books to be less essay-based, and structured more to facilitate a 'working-towards', piecemeal approach. I particularly admired her clarity in describing complicated feelings.

I downloaded this book after a split with a partner whom was an alcoholic. I'd never heard of codependency before reading this, and it really opened my eyes to a whole new world as it where. Interesting and insightful. Definitely helped me change bad habits and understand them too.

Clear and concise but heartfelt and loving with little jargon and helpful exercises. It felt like a hug and a chat with your biggest supporter.

Interesting reading, well written,it gives you an insight into relationship dynamics and dysfunctional families battling with co-dependency. When the distinction between individual and group is blurry, or when there are 'victims' might be a case of codependency.

Still the best book on Codependency. I first read it in 1999 with a shock of self-recognition. It's not exaggerating to say it changed my life. Now I am rereading it as my codependency is making my life a misery. Melody Beattie's insights are based on personal experience as well as therapeutic experience. Maybe that's why this book speaks to the heart not just the head. Awareness of codependency emerged from work with families of alcoholics and addicts but as the author points out, codependency is broader and more diffuse. It can arise from a range of situations such as having criminal offspring or growing up with needy and dysfunctional parents. The book helps you move beyond the craziness of trying to control others and take charge of what we do have power over: our own emotional wellbeing. It gave me the confidence that I can recover. If you find yourself living for or through others or taking on others' needs rather than looking after your own, this is the place to find help.

I can see why this is a classic in the recovery field. The book reminded me to be kind to myself. Well worth reading.

We hear religious prescriptions for a happy marriage that urge you to put the needs of your spouse first. We see the ideal romance in popular culture defined by how much people are willing to sacrifice for one another. Selfishness is a dirty word, and in so many places, we're taught that nice means self-sacrificing. Despite that, we often live in fear and anxiety, concentrating on everyone but ourselves, hoping that we can control the people around us, and worried about what will happen if we can't. In so many subtle, insidious ways, many of us have fallen into codependent behavioral patterns, and they're keeping us from living our own full, rich, authentic lives. Beattie has written a compassionate, practical treatise on how to be true to yourself in your relationships with other human beings. It was a huge eye-opener for me, and has helped me get in touch with my own needs in life. Though codependency, in its original definition, dealt strictly with the dynamic present with alcoholics and their loved ones, it's also a very useful lens through which to see nearly all intimate relationships. The ways that we become enmeshed with one another, blurring the lines between what's mine and what's theirs, are destructive to our own needs AND the needs of those we love. Little by little, I'm becoming able to honor my own boundaries and those of the people I love, and to truly be present as my whole self, not just the self someone else expects me to be. I highly recommend this book.

The author does mention God a lot, however when reading this I took God as more of a “universe” approach so all people can read it, religious or not. Great insight and definitely helped me see the patterns I was creating in my own relationships. We are not crazy! :)

Me ha servido mucho el saber de este tema que desconocía hasta que me recomendaron este libro. Esta bien escrito y desarrollado además de que trae una metodología para entender los pasos para resolverlo.

Habla mucho de Dios, y yo soy ateo. Por otro lado, se puede observar que esta señora no es una profesional (psicóloga o psiquiatra). A pesar de ello, es interesante y puede resultar de ayuda.

There should always be a warning any time something is faith-based